Question by Jeannie Mary: When should I go back to my alcoholic husband?
He finally admitted that he has a problem and said he got a sponsor, and he’s going to an AA meeting on Thursday. But here’s the deal, I don’t believe him. It’s been too many years and too many problems and lies. I took the kids and left 4 days ago. I don’t want to go back. I’m actually enjoying being away from him. But the kids need a dad. He really messed up when he threw a major fit on Sunday. My older child is still talking about it and saying strange things in her sleep. I know he really scared her when he kicked her potty (she’s training) and said “here’s your @$ #$ potty!” He broke the kitchen table, a chair, my expensive breast pump, our coffee maker, the baby monitor, destroyed our video camera with years of memories, and my phone in a million pieces….and many other things. It all started because I got pissed off that he came home at 6 in the morning (AGAIN) and passed out in the computer room, and pissed (again) on the carpet! Yes, my husband pees every time he gets drunk, and NOT in the toilet. Talk about potty training. He is always in a bad mood, he isn’t ever happy about anything. Frankly, he’s a real drag to be around. I”m tired of lying for him and making excuses for him. I wish it could be easy to just leave him. I would in a heart beat. Thing is, we have 2 kids, and many bills we share. Deep down, I know he’s a good man. Really deep down. I”m tired of being mad. I’m tired of not having anyone over to our house because of his disgusting messes. I’m tired of trying to be nice to him and forgiving him and letting him have one more chance again and again. I really feel like we don’t even have a relationship anymore. He loves his kids, but he’s so mad all the time, my 2 year old says “daddy mad again” all the time. This is not a healthy happy home for them. I”m miserable. So, just because he says he’s going to AA finally and he got a sponsor, am I supposed to back off of all the problems? Am I supposed to be the loving supporter yet again? I”m so damn tired of everything being about him. I want him to apologize for years of lying. I don’t want to go back. Do I have to?
Best answer:
Answer by purplekitty627
If you can’t trust him, don’t go back. His therapist is going to help him realize that he caused most of his own problems, including you leaving, through his drinking.
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